About 8 years ago, our neighbor's Jeep was stolen and our thoughtful Mailan, about five years old at the time, wrote him a note. "Mr. Ben, I am sorry bad guys your (Jeep). Love Mailan."
I am sure she would have bought him a new Jeep if she could. Charity was never something we had to teach our girls, it has always come so naturally to them. This was such a sweet sentiment for our compassionate little first born, but in this case, the concept of character was the lesson that was to be taught and one much more difficult to explain.
I have often heard, "there aren't bad people just bad decisions". I choose to believe this even when I am routinely hurt. Some days it is more difficult than others to see the good in people, but I continue to trust with all my heart, and to not lean on my own understanding (Pro3:5). I sure know I have stolen my share of Jeeps (figuratively, of course). We have all done things we wish we hadn't, but most of us are not now who we were then.
Who do you see yourself in 8 years? Not how do you see yourself, but who will you be inside? If you don't intentionally change how you view others or how your view yourself, will you be pleased with the you of the future? Most people would agree they need personal growth but don't know where to begin. I have compiled a list of what I did and what I still do. Personal growth isn't like one's physical height. There are no limitations other than in one's own mind.
“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” – Jim Rohn
Simple Steps to Becoming More (Personal Growth)*
1. Admit the voice in your head is actually telling you what you need to act upon for the desires of your heart to come about.
For me, I need to quit drinking alcohol and stop putting my family into mega-debt.
Admit it
2. Find a person or a circle of people who will celebrate your choices, not judge you for them.
For me, this meant I ultimately "lost" friends. I put lost in quotations because they aren't really missing. I still love them and pray for them, but my normal life schedule no longer includes them often. At first it hurt, I felt abandoned, but I know they probably feel the same about me. I owe them apologies for this.
Find your people
3. Make a list of what you want in your life and one of what you do not want. Your plans should include increasing opportunities to get more of what you want and decreasing those you don't.
My list was long but a few stuck out most; these became my non-negotiables. I wanted more time with my family, financial freedom and to never have to work for someone else again. I didn't want debt, to have someone else spending more time with my daughters than me and to be beholden to an hourly job that built someone else's dream.
Make a list
4. Write your goals down and put them somewhere you can see them often. If what you are doing, what you are spending money on, who you are spending time with is not pointing you toward accomplishing your goals, go back to step 2.
Write your goals
5. Read. Read non-fiction and personal growth books. Leadership books. The Bible. You may love fiction and throw a fiction book in there now and then, but if you want to have something you never had before, learn from someone who already has it. Learn from someone who did it right.
I used to be a self-proclaimed non-reader. "I don't read", I said more times than I care to count. By going through steps 1-4 I began to read. First, it was one book here and there. Now, I have a book I am working through all the time. I listen to audiobooks. I have the Kindle app. I have regular, old-fashioned, hold in your hand books. I switch it up based on what is available when I want to read it or where I will be. If I have a road trip coming up, Audiobook! If I have a Kindle credit, Kindle. You get my point. Don't be "that guy" who only reads physical books, either. You will be amazed how many more books you can finish over time in the time it takes you to drive to work and back.
Read.
6. Remember how far you have come.
If I continually looked at all the debt that was left to pay off, including two homes we weren't even living in, the situation may have looked hopeless at times. But a debt snowball is called just that for a reason. When I started using the DebtBusters System I was able to see how far we came each month and over time. We changed our thinking about money, sold one house, dumped one credit card at a time and have now paid over $390,000 in debt. We still have more to go, but if I never looked at the progress, I may have been paralyzed by the rest of the mountain I had yet to climb.
Remember how far you have come.
7. Never quit. Personal growth is not a circle. It is a spiral. You do make 180 degree turns but are moving forward, as well. If you continue to commit to the process, making bigger goals after initial ones are met, and going after each with the same strategies laid out above, you will succeed.
I thought I just needed to quit drinking alcohol and stop adding debt. What I really needed was to envision a preferred future for my future grandchildren and realize I hold the ability to make their lives incredible by how I raise their mothers, my daughters. Who I was wasn't good enough. I worked harder on myself the past four years than I had the previous 38. I reached a height of "good". Now, good is not good enough.
Never quit
You are not a bad person for making bad choices. Release yourself of the past and commit to a new future. It begins with choosing to change and committing to the action steps required to get there.
We are all in this world together. Let's grow together, too.
If you have more thoughts or ideas that helped you personally grow, please comment.
*disclaimer, this worked for me, it can work for you. If you feel like you need to google five other personal growth to do lists, feel free but quit wasting your life being less than intended. You were made for more.
