During my teen years, I lived with my Dad and Debbie. Being a parent of a teen is hard enough, being a step-parent of a teen - that compounds the difficulty ten-fold, I am sure.
On top of the hormonal rage, balanced out only with the intermittent crying, step parents have to navigate the relationships between the different parental units and the children, too. On the days when I felt particularly angsty, Deb loved me anyway.
I was blessed to have Debbie in my life as a teen. She knew when I needed tough love, which she gave out very very well, and she knew when to just give me space. Like most parents, she made plenty of mistakes, but she was patient and she was present and she loved me even when she didn't need to. She called me her daughter. The word "step" was never anywhere in the title.
After my father passed away, and Debbie had no legal reason to still be "Carrie's other mother", it was as if no one gave her the memo. Our relationship only grew closer. She didn't miss a beat. She still loved me anyway.
In 2004, when Joe and I got married, both my mothers (natural mother Betsy and Deb) threw our wedding. They made sure the extended family was invited and the details of the day were in order. A year and a half later, when our first born daughter made her debut, Deb headed to Virginia to meet her granddaughter, Mailan. And when Deb was remarried to a police officer named Steve, he immediately became known as my "Father From My Other Mother". And to my daughters, he is lovingly called 'Grampy Steve'.
Because Debora Marie Little chose to love me in 1979, and when I was a moody teen, and a forgetful twenty something, and after the loss of my father.... and because she always chose to love me anyway, my daughters know the love of these completely non-biological, 100% REAL grandparents today.
(The picture below is of Mailan basting the Thanksgiving turkey at Grammy Deb's house.)
